November 2004 Archives

Customer Disservice

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Wal*mart

  • Order: Black Angus roast beef
  • Charged for: Turkey breast
  • Receive: Unidentified ham-type meat product

And people think their weak sales on Black Friday are some sort of indicator of a poor economy?

OfficeMax

  • Order: Wood framed white boards
  • Delivery method: Next day
  • Receive: Aluminum framed cork boards...next week

This is how they make up for a badly bungled desk purchase.

Career Opportunity

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I read a local news item at lunch today. According to the article, the man in question took $61,064 from a man for whom our entrepreneur was guardian.

Now, as you may have guessed, he got caught. Here's the interesting part: his sentence.

Pay back $40,000.
Pay $5,000 to MN Attorney General.
Pay $2,403.58 to Aitkin County Sheriff's Office.

For those of you following along, that's a total of $47,403.58. Net profit: $13,660.42.

Added bonus: 240 day jail sentence. That means he gets free room and board. Basically, as punishment for his crime, he lives free with a $400/week stipend.

Now all I have to do is get someone to make me their guardian...

Link

Driving Tips!

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Dear Duluth Drivers,

When travelling on Interstate Highways, it is NOT necessary to alter one's speed when navigating normal curves in the road. These highways are banked. You know, like Nascar. Banked. The road will hold you in place. The urge is strong, I know, but keep your foot off the brake.

Continuing to decrease your speed by up to seven (7) mph while descending on I-35 into Duluth will have consequences. I will hunt you down. I will find where you live. I will destroy you and your entire family, root and branch. None shall escape my wrath.

This is your final warning.

Thanks,

Bensbane

Ichi! Ni! San!

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I realized this morning that it sounds like a scene from Matchstick Men when my downstairs neighbors leave the house. Due to the layout of the building, there are three doors between them and the rest of the world (lucky for you).

Heading out?

eine! (ka-chunk) zwei! (ka-chunk) drei! (ka-chunk)

Back in?

Uno! (ka-chunk) due! (ka-chunk) tre! (ka-chunk)

Aurora Borealis

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The Northern Lights
Northern Lights and Enger Tower
For your viewing pleasure, pictures taken by my girlfriend from near Enger Tower last night.

Road Trip!

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Flash Frozen
Long Expose

My wonderful girlfriend and I took a road trip up the North Shore of Lake Superior on Wednesday. We hit Split Rock Lighthouse State Park, Gooseberry Falls State Park, and Palisade Head. We had a great time, got a few good pictures, and I was just generally glad I was goofing off instead of working.

The Promised Pictures

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A few days ago I promised some pictures of my new WRX, so here we go.

Before

After

Way After!

Precision Auto Body & Sales of Carlton did the work for me and gave me a great deal on the car. Highly recommended.

I love this car.

Oh, the Pain...

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Should you happen to get yourself a 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX Sport Wagon, and should you happen to spend all weekend tearing around in it, enjoying yourself immensely, you must be prepared for certain...difficulties adjusting to other vehicles.

For example, when you drop the car off to get some work done, you must be very careful entering the Ford Escort loaner car. The seats are not as soft. They are not perfectly formed to your body. They are, in fact, not good.

You must also brace yourself for the relative vileness of the Escort's engine. It is not quiet. It is not smooth. It does not press you back into your seat like the very hand of God. Indeed, it can be described with 3 letters: P O S.

The sound system is an affront to the ears. There is no 6-disc in-dash CD player. There is no sub woofer under the passenger seat. In fact, there is only a radio, and sad indeed it does sound.

I could continue, but I'm sure you get the idea. Pictures of the new ride coming soon...