Rest In Peace
You were a faithful friend, always there when I needed you. You never complained. You were low maintenance. You were the cheapest of cheap dates. You stood strong through more than your fair share of ridicule.
It saddens me, old friend, to say goodbye. Like a great leper of glass and steel, your heart stayed true while your extremities rotted away, leaving you a rusted memory of your former glory.
Farewell Rusty White, you were loved.
A moment of silence has been had by zerotolerance for the rusty white.
May his replacement be worthy. :)
You might even want to say "RUST in Peace."
ZING!
perhaps you meant "Rust in pieces."