A Memo

Dear Woman-that-tried-to-run-me-off-the-freeway-this-morning,

I am writing to you regarding the incident on I-35 this morning in which you drifted out of your lane, nearly colliding with me as I attempted to pass you. I noticed as you were sporadically braking in front of me that your car is an utter pile of junk. It is old, it is rusty, it is dirty. Make: irrelevant, Model: irrelevant. Driving that car, you will never impress anyone.

Having established that, bensbane.net would like to offer you a free piece of advice.

Applying mascara while driving this rolling disaster WILL NOT help. Please desist immediately.

Thanks,

Andrew

UPDATE: MrAirbear suggests a relevant Dave Barry column here. Get it while it's hot.